Four years ago today, everything in life that was "normal" changed forever. Mom had been sick all week with "the flu", but that morning it became clear something else was amiss. Just hours later we would receive the news that felt like the biggest kick in the gut, "there is nothing we can do..."
Those words signaled the end of normalcy for me. No more getting those phone calls right as we sat down for dinner. No more calling on Saturday mornings to see if she had eaten yet, then she would promptly cook up a storm so we could head over to the house and eat with her. No more calling mom for advice or to tell her the latest good news.My kids left without a grandma, my dad left without his wife, and my brothers and I left without our mom. Normal was no longer a word I could truly use in life.
Time has passed and we have been forced to try an go on. Life has even taken on a new path that seems somewhat normal. Perhaps the definition of "normal" has changed in my life. After December 19, 2008, everything that was normal changed, and the reality is, there is nothing we could have done, or can do about it except redefine what the new "normal" is in our lives.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
My Christmas Story
Running into him last night brought back the happy memory in the midst of the pain. Almost four years ago, we were reeling from the sudden passing of my mom just six days before Christmas. The holiday forced us to postpone her service until December 26th. Because of her outgoing demeanor, the 200 seat church she attended was not going to be big enough to accommodate her memorial service. She had friends from every walk of life, yet we were keenly aware that, due to the Christmas holiday, the number of attendees could range from a few family members to several hundred people. I soon found out that most large churches in town had already closed their facilities for vacation, and even contacting a receptionist proved to be a chore. Phone call after phone call, and trips to numerous church offices were all met with no answer, or an apology and explanation that they had no one to accommodate us.
The answer was the same as I called Fresno First Baptist, pleading for assistance. "We have another congregation holding a Christmas service, then our staff is going home to be with their families" came the answer. Once again, my heart sunk in a frustration that numbed the pain of my mourning. I had exhausted the list of larger churches in town, and was resigned to settling for using the church my mom attended. I started home in defeat, preparing to begin the next task at hand.
Then the phone rang, and I experienced something that can only be described as a real life definition of what Christmas is really all about. It was Lill from Fresno First Baptist again, and she had some new info. The worship pastor heard our story, and if my memory serves me correct, had lost his father recently, and our story struck a chord with him. So a man I describe as an angel of sorts entered our lives. Bryan Hitch said that he would open the church, run the sound and video equipment and do whatever else we needed, so we could have the service. A few days later, thanks to the congregation of First Baptist, and especially to Bryan, over 700 people packed the church and lobby, and were able to pay their respects and celebrated the life of my mom.
So when I ran into Bryan last night, it all came back. I felt tears welling up a bit in my eyes, partly because it is that season again, but more so because I was reminded of the extreme kindness and the sacrifice he made to accommodate our family. We met a man who did for us what my mom would have done for someone else. He interrupted his family time, during the holidays, to serve a family that he did not even know!
And so I conclude this Christmas story with a challenge. It may not be convenient, you may not be able to afford much,or it may put a bit of a strain on your time, but strive to look out for and consider the needs of others. And as you travel through life, when you come across someone who has an extreme story, and you find yourself looking for an excuse to not assist, I ask you to remember Bryan and his kindness towards us, and I ask you to follow his great example and go do the same for someone else.
The answer was the same as I called Fresno First Baptist, pleading for assistance. "We have another congregation holding a Christmas service, then our staff is going home to be with their families" came the answer. Once again, my heart sunk in a frustration that numbed the pain of my mourning. I had exhausted the list of larger churches in town, and was resigned to settling for using the church my mom attended. I started home in defeat, preparing to begin the next task at hand.
Then the phone rang, and I experienced something that can only be described as a real life definition of what Christmas is really all about. It was Lill from Fresno First Baptist again, and she had some new info. The worship pastor heard our story, and if my memory serves me correct, had lost his father recently, and our story struck a chord with him. So a man I describe as an angel of sorts entered our lives. Bryan Hitch said that he would open the church, run the sound and video equipment and do whatever else we needed, so we could have the service. A few days later, thanks to the congregation of First Baptist, and especially to Bryan, over 700 people packed the church and lobby, and were able to pay their respects and celebrated the life of my mom.
So when I ran into Bryan last night, it all came back. I felt tears welling up a bit in my eyes, partly because it is that season again, but more so because I was reminded of the extreme kindness and the sacrifice he made to accommodate our family. We met a man who did for us what my mom would have done for someone else. He interrupted his family time, during the holidays, to serve a family that he did not even know!
And so I conclude this Christmas story with a challenge. It may not be convenient, you may not be able to afford much,or it may put a bit of a strain on your time, but strive to look out for and consider the needs of others. And as you travel through life, when you come across someone who has an extreme story, and you find yourself looking for an excuse to not assist, I ask you to remember Bryan and his kindness towards us, and I ask you to follow his great example and go do the same for someone else.
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