The Empty Bedroom

This past weekend my two boys took a mini vacation to Northern California.  As bedtime came on Friday night, there was a strange quietness throughout the house.  As we put Sara to bed, we couldn't help but notice how empty the boy's room seemed to be.  Their absence was felt so strongly, that I felt as if someone had knocked the air out right out of my body.  My mind wandered a bit, and even though I knew they were having fun hanging out in Monterey, I could not escape the thought, "What if my boys were gone forever?”  I quickly pushed away any bad thoughts, and asked God to simply protect them. The sensation I felt was awful, but I knew my boys were safe with their grandpa and uncles and would be home soon.

A nagging sadness remained as I thought of people who have lost their children in accidents or to sickness.  It was as if God allowed me, for just a few moments, to "feel" the grief and emptiness of someone who has had a child die much too early.  I was almost forced me to tears as I tried to imagine the unbearable pain that some have endured.  As the boys returned from a weekend of playing at the beach and watching the Dodgers and Giants, I hugged them a little tighter and a little longer than usual.  It felt so good to have them home; even if I knew that within minutes they would probably be arguing and fighting!

If we are honest, our kids can sometimes make us wonder why we ever had kids in the first place!  They are not always on their best behavior, and do not always do what they are supposed to do.  We like to think our kids do no wrong, but we know they are not perfect and make mistakes.  Although our kids can get on our last nerve and sometimes drive us nuts, they are truly gifts from God.  Even though they sometimes embarrass us with their actions, drive us crazy with their endless questions, and seem to argue and fight non-stop, I will gladly take all of that over the quiet, empty bedroom. 

***Thanks for reading!  Feel free to share without asking for permission.  If you want notification when I post something new, enter your email address on my blog page and you will receive an email anytime I publish a new post!  By the way, it has been over 5 months since we celebrated thanksgiving.  If you need a reminder to be thankful, read this: http://jonathanpantages.blogspot.com/2012/11/are-you-still-thankful.html