Things We Can Learn From Children

Too often in life, children are viewed as unimportant, insignificant, or unable to contribute much to society.  I beg to differ.  In fact, I would argue that children can teach us some of the greatest lessons we can learn.  Most of us learned these lessons as kids, but as we grew older, we became more cynical, jaded and so on and so forth.  The following are just a few observations I have made and my thoughts regarding each observation.

If you have ever watched two kids argue and fight over a toy, you know that they will keep fighting until they get what they want.  Often times, soon after getting that particular toy, they soon put it down and decide they don't want it after all.  The lesson:  When you want something in life, don't stop striving towards that goal until you get it.  This is of course assuming that it is a healthy thing you are pursuing... The other lesson in this is, sometimes when finally acquire what you thought you wanted, you realize it is not at all what you want or need.

After those kids argue over the toy, one child is always left crying and hurt over what took place.  Soon enough, they are playing together again and acting as if nothing happened!  The lesson:  Don't stay mad at anyone too long.  Kids get over stuff really quickly and find a way to move on and be friends again.  We adults can go years without speaking to someone who has done us wrong!

Children are quick to help each other out.  Just watch a child who is crying at the playground.  Most of the time you will see other children rally around that child and try to help out.  The lesson:  We need to do a better job of looking out for each other and rallying around those who are going through some stuff.  Often times we act like we don't notice someone who is suffering or experiencing a setback in life.

Most children will play for hours with kids who have different skin tones, speak different languages, worship a "different" god and come from the other side of the tracks.  The lesson:  We need to stop dividing ourselves and learn to "play" with each other, regardless of our differences.  Most only want to worship with those who look or believe like they do.  Many conservatives can’t have a civil conversation with a more liberal thinking individual.  Usually our Facebook and Twitter pages are full of people who look, think, act and believe the way we do.  Just go to a park and sit for a few minutes and watch the kids.  They just play with whoever it is that wants to play and they have a blast doing it!

Kids are not afraid to take risks!  They will raise their hands in class, ask questions, volunteer to stand up in front of their peers and have no problem putting their artwork on any available refrigerator!  The lesson:  Learn to take risks again.  Of course we can't be too reckless, but it's OK to question some things, offer a bold solution at work and take the risk that, as a result, can make you look like a complete loser, or a complete genius!

If you have ever had to punish one of your kids, you know that after the tears, harsh words and anger that they can at times display, they come back and want to hug you, hold you and love you.  The lesson:  Love those you care about unconditionally. God loves me in spite of the mess I make in life, so it is only reasonable that I strive to do the same for others.  So they begin to live a lifestyle you disagree with; pray for them.  So they made a choice that you believe is foolish; be there to help them when they recover from their foolishness.  So they make decisions that you feel are not the best choices; love them anyway!

Hopefully this series of lessons are an eye opener for someone besides me.  Sure kids don't have the wisdom that only experience can bring, but if we bring a healthy balance of wisdom and some positive, childlike  traits, perhaps our lives will be just a little less stressful, a bit less hateful, more tolerant and an overall better place for everyone.

Thanks for reading!  Feel free to share or to add your own lessons on the comment page!    Want to read more?  Check out a post about respect I uploaded earlier this year:  http://jonathanpantages.blogspot.com/2013/06/what-happened-to-respect.html

Put Your Head On A Swivel!

Yesterday our neighborhood was "treated" to a scene that is, on a normal basis, only viewed in theaters.  I did not witness it myself, but a high speed police chase passed right down our street.  The suspect vehicle was being pursued by undercover officers, and soon thereafter, marked police vehicles joined the chase.  I was speaking to my brother and commented on how the vehicle was racing down a major street, and while the driver did not hit anyone, he presumably blew right through a four way stop.  I mentioned how I never take off when the signal lights turn green, as it seems like every day now; vehicles still pass through the light even seconds after their light has already turned red.  He said "your head always has to be on a swivel".


A swivel is a device that allows an object to turn side to side, up and down and even in a complete circle.  I am a people watcher by nature, so I constantly see people driving and walking with their heads straight forward, seldom looking from side to side.  Many times, they are the ones that you see on the news saying, "I never saw the car coming until it hit me!" This constantly takes place, even though, when we learned to drive, we were all taught to keep our eyes moving from side to side, behind us and of course up ahead.

This made me think about how we sometimes approach life.  Many times we go through life unfocused and paying little attention to our surroundings.  We are shocked when our health, our finances, relationships or employment status gets sideswiped.  Perhaps we would have seen it coming had our heads been on a swivel.  Perhaps if we would have paid attention, we would have noticed that we weren't feeling as well as before, our money wasn't stretching as far, that relationship seemed strained, or that the company had been downsizing for years.  Many times our neighborhoods deteriorate right in front of us, but we were completely oblivious to the change.

Too often we stumble through life just looking at what is right in front of us and not paying any attention to our past mistakes, the future that lies ahead of us, or the side road that could lead us in a totally different direction.  We sometimes miss out on opportunities because we didn't see the open door as we focused on our current situation. We could literally find ourselves in a traffic accident simply because when the light turned green, we accelerated, without looking!

Today's point is simple; go put your head and your eyes on a swivel.  Take a look around and analyze life from your current vantage point.  Take stock in where you are and where it is you are going.  Perhaps you will see some things that you have never noticed before.  Maybe you will avoid a serious financial or health problem by noticing the signs early.  And of course, when you are driving, please wait and look both ways before you take off!

As always, thanks for reading, feel free to share, and if you want an email notice when I upload a new post, you can enter your email in the top right corner of this page!

ps-It has cooled down a bit now, so maybe now is a good time to go back and read this:   http://jonathanpantages.blogspot.com/2013/06/it-june-in-fresno-of-course-it-hot.html

I'm Sad

The Trayvon Martin verdict has been announced, and the results have left me sad. I'm sad because tragically, regardless of the circumstances, a seventeen year old kid is dead. I'm sad because his parents are left without their son. 

I'm sad because George Zimmerman's life will no longer be the same. I'm sad because if he truly was guilty, he got away with murder-at least in this life. I'm sad because if he was truly defending himself, he has to suffer with the memory of taking someone's life, and he has to live with those who feel he is guilty. I'm sad because if the individuals who are calling for his life are successful, he will soon be dead. 

I'm sad because the jurors lives are probably in danger as well. I'm sad because the lone African American woman on the jury will have to forever justify her "not guilty" verdict. 

I'm sad because this whole case, partially driven by politics, partly by people stirring it up and partly to our propensity to depend on the media for "the whole truth", has now driven a further wedge between races. I'm sad because we still have racism issues in this country-and it is not an issue that is perpetuated by just one race. . 

I'm sad because many individuals who identify themselves as Christians, as do I, are joining the fanning of the flames. It's my opinion that we should be trying to put the fire out with love, not stoking the fire with irresponsible posts on Facebook, Twitter and other social media.  Instead of praying for Zimmerman's protection, many are hoping he gets "what he deserves". Jesus said to "love your enemies"!

Most if all, I'm sad because it seems that we have forgotten who we say we trust in. We seem shocked that the world system is so messed up, but in most cases, our response to tragedies like this is to cry for justice (revenge?) with our voices, but we do nothing to try and heal the world we were placed in to impact, and in fact, some of us (christians) may be making matters worse!  

What if we logged off the tv and social media for a minute, took a deep breath, and prayed? Pray for our country, pray for our judicial system, pray for the family of Trayvon Martin, prayed for George Zimmerman, his family, and their safety. Most of all, lets pray for ourselves. Let pray that we would contribute peace and hope to this messed up world, instead of "preaching" a message of love, hope, and trust in God, but acting in a way that screams otherwise.

As always, thanks for reading!

If I Had A Ton of Money...

Have you ever thought, "I wish I was rich"?  Of course I have, and my suspicion is that almost everyone reading this has too.  Everyone has their reasons for having the desire to be financially wealthy. After volunteering at the "Extreme Home Makeover" project here in Fresno, back in 2009, I found myself wishing I had a lot of money to help out as many people as possible.  Perhaps we would not be able to do an extreme makeover on someones house, but just replacing someones worn out water heater, or broken dyer would certainly be a help to someone who is struggling financially.

The very simple fact is, I'm not financially wealthy, and in all honesty, over the past 10 years or so, we have had our own financial struggles.  I came to realize that I do not need to be rich to be a help to someone.  While it would be nice to be able to help thousands of people, that is simply not possible right now.  So, I will just try and help who I can on a small scale. 

This is a short blog this time, but I just wanted to challenge anyone who reads this to think.  Many times we want to help everyone, but do not have the time, energy or resources to assist on a large scale.  What if we just took a look at our extra cash, clothing, food etc., and used that to help someone who is not as well off as we are.  We may not be able to change the entire world, but perhaps our small contribution can change one persons world. 

So today, be thankful for everything you have, and take a look around to see whose life you may be able to bless by reaching out and giving them a helping hand.  If I had a ton of money, I would gladly help out as many people as I could, but for now, I will continue to find small opportunities to help one individual, or one family.  If we all did the same, perhaps together we could really make a large scale impact.

As always, thanks for reading!

What Happened to Respect?

Watching the NBA finals was pure entertainment for me.  The Lakers had already been unceremoniously dismissed from the playoffs, so my interest in the final series was somewhat limited.  The two teams battled back and forth over the course of six games, but mistakes at the most critical points, and cost San Antonio the game, forcing a seventh and final game.  I found myself rooting for the "lesser of two evils" in my mind; San Antonio.  Back and forth these two teams battled, until just a few seconds remained in the game and Miami was headed to their second NBA Championship in a row.

Something interesting took place as time ran out and the game came to its conclusion.  Instead of a wild celebration breaking out by the winning team, the Miami Heat, led by Lebron James and Dwayne Wade headed towards the members of the San Antonio Spurs and began to embrace their defeated opponents!  The respect between the players and coaches of these two teams was evident by the embraces and the complimentary remarks made at the post game interviews and press conferences.  All of the pushing, shoving and trash talking gave way to an impressive display of respect and admiration between two opponents. 

Immediately I wondered and then Tweeted: "Imagine if people with different views on religion and politics, treated each other like these two teams just treated each other. Respect!"  Our society has become so combative and disrespectful.  For the most part, gone are the days of "agreeing to disagree."  Now we disagree and resort to name calling, threats and personal attacks.  While it is disheartening to see this take place in politics and in discussions on social issues, it is especially discouraging to see church organizations or denominations behaving in the same fashion.  Someone disagrees on a theological issue, and the other side is damning everyone who disagrees to hell.  We need to reverse this dangerous course of action, and it all starts with me.  We are all probably guilty of stepping out of line from time to time, but we can’t expect the political or religious communities to change if we are not willing to change ourselves.

Ultimately, we must learn to look past the disagreements, ignorance and in some cases hatred, and recognize that there is an individual who was created by God on the other side of the debate.  Some will call it "pie in the sky", but imagine if conservatives and liberals could debate the issues in a civil manner, find common ground, agree to disagree on the areas they differ on, but then go out and have lunch together when it’s all over.  Imagine if church groups would stop segregating themselves over petty issues and unite on the things they have in common.  How powerful could the force behind the unity be?  Imagine if the homosexual and the heterosexual would stop the name calling, and engage in discussions that could help each side to understand each other a little bit better.

Let's be honest, in most cases, nobody's mind is going to change about any of the above mentioned issues, nor am I suggesting that either side  has to give up on their convictions or beliefs. I am simply saying, let’s stop all the name calling and the rhetoric and be polite enough to listen to each other, unite on what we agree upon, then take a step back, take a deep breath and just show a little respect for those who disagree with. 

I Didn't Get Pictures, But The Memory Is In My Head!

My Father's Day weekend got off to a great start yesterday!  Ethan and I were invited to go deep sea fishing with the Police Activities League, and while it was a new experience for both of us, we nervously accepted and boarded a bus for Monterey. The weather was incredible as we arrived and walked down the wharf towards our boat.  Stories of sea sickness floated through my head, so I very reluctantly resisted the urge to stop for clam chowder.  I reasoned that I did not want to spend $6 for a bowl of chowder, only to leave it somewhere in the Monterey Bay!

We boarded and got settled near the rear of the boat.  Neither of us had a clue what to do, but the helpful crew and my observant nature helped us to get along just fine.  As we left shore and headed into the bay, we quickly heard the comments that "the water is rough today".  Indeed, the waves were large and created the perfect conditions for a roller coaster like ride; something Ethan and I both enjoy.  It didn't take very long for the back end of the boat to become crowded with people tossing their breakfast, and maybe the previous day’s dinner overboard!  I kept asking Ethan if he was OK, and each time he responded confidently that he was fine!  After about a 30 minute trip, we reached our first fishing area and were told we could cast our lines.

The adventure was underway, and it didn't take more than two minutes for Ethan to get a bite on his line!  As he reeled in his line, we realized that in a matter of a couple of minutes, he had caught his first TWO fish!  As I helped him out, my line started jerking like a child tugging your shirt when they are hungry!  I had caught two as well!  Ultimately, we caught our limit of 10 fish while dodging everyone running to the rail to make their contributions to the ecosystem.  The day concluded with neither of us getting sick.  I got my bowl of clam chowder as we headed to the bus with about fifteen pounds of fish that had been filleted for us on the boat. Ethan loved every minute of it and I learned how to stick my finger in the mouth of a fish to remove the hook-something that had always grossed me out!

As we arrived back in town, I Tweeted about the trip, and a "virtual friend" from Tennessee,  (follow @1DanLawson for some great, positive Tweets) who happens to be the father of Ms. Tennessee 2012, Tweeted back, "Gotta post the Pics!"  Mr. Lawson inspired this post, as right then I realized that we were having so much fun together, and so caught up in the moment, not to mention the boat was rocking very hard, that I had failed to take any pictures of Ethan catching fish!

Then a thought hit me, (of course you are probably thinking!) how many times have we missed out on a great moment because we are busy taking pictures?  Think about it, our kid makes a great play on the field, but we didn't really see it because we were staring at the display on our phones. Maybe they walk across the stage to receive an award or a diploma, but we catch the moment through the filter of a camera.  That awesome musical performance was missed as we struggled to focus our camera or unlock our cell phones! 

I didn't get a single picture of him catching fish, but every single memory of the day is seared into my mind!  Pictures can be destroyed or lost, but should I ever have the misfortune of losing my sight, nothing can take away the "photo" that is ingrained into my memory!  Too often we focus so much on capturing the event on our camera and we miss out on the actual event that is now gone forever!  So I say to you, take a photo if you can, but please don't miss "the moment" big or small.  Fortunately, someone on the trip was assigned to take photos, so I know we posed for one, and if we are lucky, maybe we not only have the great memory of that day in our hearts and minds, but there may be pictures to prove that we really did catch some fish!

Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there, and as always, thanks for reading!

Ps.  @1DanLawson that is a GREAT picture/Fathers Day card Chandler sent you!  Nice picture of that fish!  Ha Ha!

It's June, In Fresno! Of Course It's Hot!!

It is 2:51 pm as I type this post.  The mercury has already hit 104 degrees; well on the way to the expected 110 degrees that has been forecast for today. It is very hot, but this is a typical Fresno summer.  The social media scene has heated up significantly with posts about how hot it is, or how unbearable the heat is.  Of course this made me think...

This is Fresno, home of hot summers.  While it may not be the best place to live, it is certainly not the worse.  Problem is, when it's hot, we complain that it is too hot.  When winter rolls around, we complain that it is too cold.  I am happy to announce my solution!  Move somewhere else!  You see we love to complain about stuff, but very few people have the courage to do anything about it.

This post is really not about Fresno, but about our tendency to complain about stuff, but our unwillingness to do anything about it.  Chuck Swindoll put it this way, "“We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

So often we lament the things that are wrong in life, but in reality, it is what it is, and how we react to the circumstance often determines whether we are miserable in 110 degree weather, or just extremely uncomfortable in the same conditions.  Far too often we complain about political decisions, but we make excuses that "it doesn't matter" and fail to vote in the elections.  We complain that there is nothing to do in our city, but then we stay home and watch television instead of supporting a touring show, local business or restaurant.  We complain about how hot and boring Fresno is, but most of us don't have the courage to actually sell our possessions, uproot our lives and move to that utopia that is awaiting us somewhere else!

So bottom line is this, we have a couple of choices.  We can sit around pointing out everything that is wrong, or we can rise off our posteriors and do something to fix what is "wrong".  It IS hot today, but pointing it out on Twitter or Facebook didn't lower the temperature one single degree!  Go to the coast, stay indoors and watch a movie, or go to the mall or a water park.  Do something, but stop complaining!  It is 3:20 pm and it is now 106 degrees with 20% humidity, so it feels like 107 degrees, but why are you shocked?  After all, it is June; we are in Fresno, so of course it’s hot! Thank God we have a pool, so it is time to go swimming!

Thanks for reading!  As always, you are more than welcome to share this blog with anyone you wish.  If you want email notification when a new story is posted, simply input your email address on the right side of this page and follow the instructions!

Think every day doesn't matter?  Read this: http://jonathanpantages.blogspot.com/2013/04/make-every-day-count.html